Friday, October 31, 2008

From Husband to Wife

In the first two months of 2001 I closed my heart and committed to never opening it again for anyone short of my own family and but a scant few friends. I had no reason to. Then at a friend’s birthday party on March 24th of the same year I met Susan who made the same commitment to herself a long time ago. It didn’t take long – two days actually; one day really for me – for us to be totally enamored over the other and write off the silly commitment for a life of solitude.

I never imagined that seven months of the two of us flying from Minnesota to Texas and Texas to Minnesota would have such an impact on my life – our lives. We were nuts over the other. This whole flying to see the other, spend a long weekend together, fly back and wait an agonizing month till we were together again was just too much. We couldn’t be separated. We moved to Houston and allowed the adventure to unfold.

It was a grand experience. Being with her was like living a life that belonged to someone else. It was like looking into the window of a neighbor’s home and saying to myself: “I wish I had a life like that.” But I WAS living it. I felt so undeserving, yet I was selfish enough to grasp it tightly and say “mine!” and never let it go.

Susan and I, as an example of our particular antics, used to have a playful argument between us – who was the luckiest? She’d say she was. I’d say no, I was. What she didn’t understand was that I was seeing my life transform for the better because of her. She changed me. Anybody who knew me before I met her could testify that I was a different person. So who was the luckiest? That was me. And now I have the final word on that.

How lucky was I? She made everyday special. From great gestures of love to small and easily overlooked ones of preparing the coffee before going to bed; kissing me every morning before work and right before going to sleep without a miss; holding my hand for no reason at all other than she wanted to touch me; leaving little notes of “I love you” by my toothbrush or wedged between the pages of the book that I’m reading; or simply changing the channel without complaint when I walk into the room if she were watching The Wedding Singer knowing full well that I hate Adam Sandler. You couldn’t ask for a better wife.

If ever I needed the confirmation that all was right in the world, all I needed to do was stand by her and no matter how grim and foreboding things may seem, she made me feel that nothing was too large or too scary was going to hold me down. It could have been money issues, or an illness, an auto accident, or job concerns. It didn’t matter. Being with her soothed my worries and replaced them with a cool nonchalance that the two of us will handle the quandary like a pair of crafty desperados.

I could say I wanted to do this or do that, whatever the dream or lofty the ambition, she’d make me feel like it wasn’t impossible. She was my life coach, my Saint Jude. Her “can do” drive was most infectious and thankfully there was no cure for it.

Susan had this one phrase that she’d say often, mainly upon our return from our Friday Date Nights. Just as we’re parking the car, she’d look at our Townhouse and say “I love our little home.” Hearing that confirmed so much about our lives and the direction it was going. Her phrase wasn’t about the stuff inside our home or the appearance of it. It was the nature, the aura of our togetherness that she was speaking of. It was a weekly confirmation that the “I do’s” we exchanged was a perfect decision; that every choice from the moment we first met to the instant we unlock the door and go inside were right ones. I loved our little home, too. She’s the one that made it that way for us.

A friend said to my family in Spanish after observing Susan and my similarities – which were comic books, horror movies, Sci-Fi, Halloween themes, paranormal and the supernatural - that roughly translates to “God made them; God put them together.” That was so true. It was like joining two daunting pieces: a Jack and Sally; a Gomez and Morticia Addams. Once attached, we were like youngsters, school yard chums, mischievous and secretly snickering behind the tree.

We were like children – happy children – playing a game from morning till sunset; till one of us would be called home. And one was.

Susan: I miss you, Honey. I will miss you every day of my life no matter how many seasons turn, or the number of people I meet. Days, years, faces and personalities will come and go, but my memory of you and how precious you were to me will remain fixed in my heart. I was the luckiest. But most importantly, I was the most blessed. Of the forty-two years of my life, the seven with you were my happiest.

Till we’re together again in each other’s arms, I will make you proud you ever knew me, loved me, and chose to marry me. Forever and always I will love you.

Happy Fifth Anniversary, Gorgeous.

Ray

A moment in time at one of the many, many date nights we had.


Our Wedding Cakes 2003



Monday, October 20, 2008

In Honor of my sister Sue's Memory


Well, I got my courage up and in honor of my sister Susie, I *gulp* got a tattoo!! And in Las Vegas, no less! As many of you know this is Sue's favorite season, Halloween was her favorite holiday, but really Thanksgiving and Christmas were also!! Sue loved gatherings of family and friends and I wanted to do this to keep her memory close to me for all time. The tattoo is on my ankle and I am terrified of needles and pain, but I got my courage up and it really didn't hurt that much!! The idea was my daughter's and I am super happy to have done it!! I hope this finds all of you doing well and enjoying the fall weather. Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ray tomorrow!!

XOXO Kaylee










Thursday, October 16, 2008

Don't Forget to Leave Comments-

If you visit, don't be shy!! I may not know you personally but I'd like to hear what my sister Susan meant to you and what you are thinking!! Leave a comment, they are so much appreciated!!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Philadelphia Branch of Thomas Properties Walks in Sue's Honor for Breast Cancer






















Today, I received an email from Eric Pickett, Sue's former manager and best friend. I LOVE getting emails from Eric as it isn't too often and they are always interesting, well today as I scrolled down to see the attachment...I couldn't believe it, I immediately started crying....tons of Sue's co-workers in a different branch in a different part of the country that my sister hadn't even been to, spent their Sunday walking for a cure in honor of my sister Susan Martinez. I am absolutely humbled and amazed at the amount of people who participated in her honor and amazed. I know Susan wouldn't BELIEVE IT! She would be so AMAZED and so thankful. I am so proud of the company she worked for and represented. Thanks to EVERYONE from the bottom of my heart and the rest of SUSAN'S families hearts!! Thank you for keeping her memory alive and not letting her death due to Inflammatory Breast Cancer be in vain. I am posting the pics here and if you have any more please email them to kayleewalstad@msn.com . YOU GUYS ROCK!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
I will also be updating this post as more info and pix come in, thanks Mary Manen, Sue's great friend in the TPG office in Houston for getting the pics and stories also!! Following are from two separate emails Mary M sent me this am...the following is from a woman in the Philadelphia TPG office-thanks for writing this!!
Here are a couple more pictures. I don’t have the final numbers yet, but we raised almost $5,000 in Susan’s name this year. We had about 15 people from the Philly office walk on our team, along with almost 30 other family and friends that participated with us. Susan has touched a lot of people.
This Mary Manen sent me from the LA office of Thomas Properties Group-THANK YOU!! We ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZED BY EVERYONE'S CARE AND KINDNESS! THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING MY SISTER"S MEMORY TO LIVE ON! Here is what the LA office said-
" We, in LA, plan on doing the Revlon walk in May in Susan’s Honor. We’re just getting ready to put out the first announcement. We’ll keep you informed on how it is going!"
Thomas Properties group is an amazing company and you should be proud to work for them, but a company is only as good as the people who fill it's chairs and perform their functions, YOU ALL at TPG are what make it AMAZING!! Thanks for making my families day/month/year with your kindness and generosity!!
A side note, between Captain Susan's Pirates, private donations made in Susan's name and the monies earned by the Philly office of TPG almost $20,000. has been donated to the Breast Cancer Research Fund for a Cure via Susan G Komen!!!!!! I just realized this and I am AGAIN, so humbled and thankful! Thank you so much for helping bring good things from Sue's battle with cancer. I pray every day they find a cure. GOd Bless each and every one of you with that which you need most. Also, just so you know, even though I may not have met YOU personally, YOU are in my prayers. Thank you for blessing my sister's memory.
XOXOXO Kaylee

Monday, October 13, 2008

Susie's Memorial Tree at Kaylee's




We decorated Susie's tree for Halloween, my dad, Ashlee & I. I am going ot keep it decorated through Thanksgiving and then decorate it for Christmas!! It actually made me feel good to buy Halloween things like I always did for Sue every year...her tree looked so bare when i took the windchimes down for winter so they wouldn't get wrecked! Here's some pix! Happy Halloween to everyone!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

October was Susie's Fave time of the Year....

Greetings Everyone-

I feel like blogging a little this month and have asked Ray to as well. This is a really tough month, I mean they all really are without Sue and all the reminders of her joyful funloving personality...but she loves October, why you ask (most of you know)-she LOVED Halloween and the man she loved and married has his birthday this month as well on October 21st. Both tough days, so please keep Ray in your prayers! I have decorated the tree that was planted and dedicated in Sue's honor at my house with Halloween stuff and I have room to add a few things if anyone would like to send me something to put on the tree!! Let me know, just email me!

Thanks for all the emails and cards and stuff. I really appreciate everyone. Below I am putting my eulogy that I wrote and read at Sue's memorial service and our tree dedication. I will still put Eric's on here as well. I just need to get it from him!! Take care and I hope this finds everyone doing well. God Bless You all with whatever it is that will bring you joy! XOXO Kaylee



Susan’s Eulogy
By her sister Kaylee

Susan was our baby sister, the youngest of three girls and an angel sent here on earth. She had an instantaneous way of touching everyone’s lives she came in contact with by her genuine interest, care, concern and love for others.

Susan exemplified selflessness; she always put everyone else ahead of herself and never asked for anything. She felt she “had it all” with the love of her husband, family & friends, everything else was secondary to her.

While her “journey with Inflammatory breast cancer became a short trip, she inspired me and so many others with her unwavering faith, hope and daily courage. Each day, she told me she was going to find something to thank the Lord for and to be happy about, and she did. She was truly amazing and I will use her example to help me through this and the other unknown challenges I will face in my life.

Susie was best friend, confidante, and “go-to” person my whole life. She was a fantastic listener, always had a ready smile and laugh and most importantly, she believed in me. There is a gigantic hole in my heart which only her love and friendship can fill.
Susan loved her animals, they were her babies and as they came and went, she never forgot any of them, especially her beloved dog, Olli who faithfully stood by her side through the ups and downs of life.
Susan’s husband, Ray was truly the love of her life. She was filled with so much joy and happiness over their interests and love of cartoons, sci-fi & horror movies, bookstores, and discovering cool new restaurants. I am so thankful for Ray’s presence in Sue’s life and for the love they shared. Susan loved to experience life and she had a beautiful time on her journey with Ray.
Susan’s passing has taken the “sting of death” away from me, because I know she is soaring with the angels in Heaven and hers will be the first beautiful face I see when I join her there someday. I will miss her immensely and think of her and keep her memory alive in my heart and thoughts every single day I have left here on earth.
Thanks to all of you who vigilantly & faithfully lifted Susan up in prayer as she battled the terrible cancer that had invaded her body. Thank you to Ray, Susan’s husband, the Martinez family, my family and all her friends for helping Sue’s life journey here be so full of love and joy. Thank you to Susan’s company and co-workers for standing by her faithfully as she valiantly tried to get her body back to normal so she could return to the job & co-workers she so loved.
I cannot believe someone who meant so much to so many is forever gone from this earth, but her goodness, kindness, love, joy, courage & faithfulness will be remembered and is truly an example to all.Susan may be gone, but she will never be forgotten. I love you Susie, you are always and forever in my heart and mind!